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He was held accountable. A few years ago well about 7 years ago I suppose now my counselor i was seeing suggested I write a letter to him saying my feelings. It was up to me if I actually sent it to him. Ricky here on the forum ended up helping me write the letter, which I did send.

It fits my personality too so we're lucky that no one is forcing it on us. I'm so sorry about your uncle abusing you. I hope you've made peace with it and don't carry the memory around with you. I shouldn't say this but I also hope that he has been held accountable for what he did to you. Yeah not a very Christian thing to say but it's how I feel.

Being submissive comes a lot from our church belief, and it was how my parent's wanted things to be. Really though it fits my personality well. The guy who abused me is my mom's brother. I don't think he took advantage of me because of my submissivness because he did some of whe he did to me to his other sister's two daughters as well. He just did some more stuff to me, I guess because I was older.

I'm happy you joined!  When you said that all your life you were taught to be subordinate, was this a religious teaching or just something your parents decided would be best for you? I'm very sorry you were sexually abused. Was it by someone you trusted? Did this person know that you were taught to be subordinate? I hope you were old enough to know that you were being taken advantage of. I believe what you believe when it comes to authority in the home. I want a husband that is a leader but won't abuse his leadership or let it go to his head 😉. I know you were engaged so you must have found the right man for you. I know a lot of nice guys but I don't know very many leaders.

Very well said Lexie and I know in your job just like mine there is chain of command we must follow 

I hope it's ok I joined your club. This is a topic that is very close to my heart. All my life I was raised to be subordinate to those with authority over me. That was mostly my mom and dad, since I was home schooled I didn't have teachers, but my pastor and youth pastor got looped into those with authority. Then there was my grandparents and other extended family. I was expected to obey adults and not question them, course that changed a little bit after I was 10 and my fear of being disobedient somewhat resulted in me being a victim of sexual abuse. It was then I was to be obedient but not someone's doormat and if I knew what was being asked of me was wrong or scared me then I was allowed to not obey and find another adult to tell. Aside from my grandpa who never really have me a "formal spanking" no other adult in my life spanked me other than my parents. If I misbehaved for them they reported it to my parents. I believe though I would have submitted to a spanking from them without fuss because to me that is what kids do to an adult in authority.  There were times growing up I might not have 100% agreed that I needed spanked or needed a harsher than normal spanking but I still submitted to it and took whatever it was my dad felt I needed.  In my job now when I'm at work I have to lose the submissiveness unless it's to a higher ranking officer, but when I return home I'm ready to be me again. I don't feel like less of a person because I feel like a daughter submits to her father, a wife to her husband. Its not about a power trip or being walked on because I am respected as a person. I guess I just feel the guy should be called to lead and too many leaders is not a good thing.

Yes I would and it is allowed. I know they can paddle our butts at the  school too but I'm not sure it's happened to anyone. Not me. Not yet. 😇 I've no issue being spanked by someone I trust and respect but like I've said before, a spanking to me doesn't mean I'm without my pants and panties.  My pastor spanked me 3 times last summer when I stayed with them and none of those were with my panties down. 

I know I'm late to this but I thought I'd share in the 18 category

I might be able to do that 😀.

You could just start a new topic, and put "part 2" on the end, or whatever