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#25342 About Us

Posted by Jonathon on 10 February 2016 - 08:54 AM

Welcome to the Raising Girls Forum
This is a support and discussion forum for those interested in raising girls in a conservative and traditional manner, with a focus on discipline. We discuss loving punishments, including spanking, in a manner that's supportive of parents and girls. We focus on the positive aspects of discipline and how discipline helps build a girls' self-esteem and happiness.
We believe that discipline without love is pointless and that ineffective or non-existent discipline is neglect. 
We believe that spanking can be an effective and beneficial form of discipline when given with love and care.
We support parents who spank and girls who get spanked, as long as such punishment doesn't abuse or belittle the girl.
We support non-physical forms of punishment as long as it doesn't abuse or belittle the girl.
We believe that all girls deserve to be raised in a family where they are encouraged to flourish.
We believe that all girls should be encouraged to be a part of groups that build their self esteem and provide discipline, such as sports groups, school groups, and church groups.
Please join us if you share these beliefs. Please don't join us if you don't, because you won't be happy here.
We are particular about who we accept as part of our community, and we don't tolerate drama, trolls, or role players here!
For more information or to report a problem with your account:


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#59171 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by AprilK on 09 July 2017 - 11:23 AM

Nobody should ever be teased about their weight. When I was JV captain in my sophomore year, we had a girl and a guy on my squad who didn't fit the typical "athletic look." But we didn't treat either of them any differently than anyone else. Their weight didn't affect their spirit or their ability to shine on the sideline or on the field at halftime.


A couple of the varsity girls said something once when I wasn't there, but my squad didn't put up with that and stood up for them and shut down the bullying immediately. I was so proud of them for standing up for their teammates.


Honestly, making fun of someone for their weight, or any other physical trait, is just plain cruel. It serves no purpose and I never understood why anyone would want to go out of their way to hurt another person. I mean, nobody is perfect all the time. Even I catch myself thinking things sometimes, but I would never say it out loud and hurt someone else with my words, and often times, I feel ashamed at myself for even thinking awful thoughts and I have to remind myself that God created everyone in His image, so we are all beautiful.


I also saw this story before and I thought it was beautiful. When someone said something mean about his girlfriend's weight, he tweeted, "You're not fat, baby. God made you just for me. You're perfect."




I think everyone should stand up and say something when they see someone else being picked on, whether it's for their weight or anything else.



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#95056 Raising Girls - A Christian Teen’s Guide to Knowing God’s Will for Your Life

Posted by Jonathon on 08 August 2019 - 06:01 PM

A Christian Teen’s Guide to Knowing God’s Will for Your Life

Get all the details on what God has planned for you

avatar_3299.jpg ELISABETH CARTER  9 AUGUST 2019

A lot of Christian teens wonder what God has in store for their lives.

Teenagers tend to spend a lot of time looking to the future, and when you’re thinking so much about what’s ahead, it’s important to consider what God wants for you.

So how can we find out what God wants for us? Are there some specific plans he has for each and every one of us, and other more generic plans he has for everyone?

Let’s take a look at the Bible and see!

What does the Bible say about God’s will?

God is in control

If we’re going to ask if God has a will for us, first we need to ask: what gives him the right to make plans on our behalf?

Well, Nicky Gangemi explains in this article, “God’s sovereignty is a concept that refers to the fact that God is ALWAYS in control of everything that happens. Check out this verse where God is speaking about His will being done:

Remember the former things, those of long ago; I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ (Isaiah 46:10)

Here God is speaking saying that whatever He wills to happen will come to be, and because He is God with unlimited power and authority over the universe He created, it WILL happen.”

God’s will for all people

As Sean McDowell explains in this article, God has one particular thing he wants for all people: "God’s will is that, by believing in His son, Jesus Christ, people be saved. 1 Timothy 2:4 says that God, “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

If you are stumbling through life trying to know God’s will, but have never asked God to forgive your sins, then you are not even in the beginning of God’s will. Qualification number one for God’s will is your salvation. If you have never committed your life to being a disciple of Jesus, then God has no reason to reveal anything further to you regarding the pattern of your life.”

God’s will for all Christians

So what if you are a Christian? What next? Nick Gangemi explains this brilliantly in this article for Fervr

In James 1:2-4, the author outlines what one of God’s goals for our life is, saying...

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Did you see it there? God wants us to be “mature and complete, not lacking anything”.

Does this mean that he wants us to lacking nothing in this world, to have the perfect life, family, house and job? No! God wants us to be lacking nothing of spiritual value.

As we live out our lives for Jesus and wait for His return, God gives us “every spiritual blessing” (Eph 1:3) and he makes sure that we are “not lacking any spiritual gift” (1 Cor 1:7). And it is He who helps us to mature into the men and women of faith that He wants us to be, becoming more and more “conformed into the likeness of His Son” (Rom 8:29).”

God’s will for you, specifically

Ok but hold on… does the Bible say anything about what God wants for me specifically?

Some people talk about having a specific ‘calling’, but this isn’t actually language that the Bible uses. God may give you a particular passion or interest, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing you should do with your life

Instead, Sean McDowell explains that if you follow Jesus, “you are free to make choices based on your wisdom.

And if you are living a godly life, God will give you the right desires. This is why the Psalmist says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). In other words, if we first give control of our lives to God, then we have the freedom to make choices because He is truly guiding our lives.

  • God’s will is not so much about what you do, but about who you are.
  • God’s will is not so much about where you go to college, but about the type of student you are.
  • God’s will is not so much about who you date, but how you treat people of the opposite sex.
  • God has dignified you with the freedom of making choices and living with the consequences.”

If we make wise decisions, when we start moving in a direction based on what we believe God wants for us, Proverbs  16:9 reassures us with these words: “The mind of man plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps” (16:9).

Let’s get practical

Now that we know what the Bible says about God’s will, let’s turn to some practical applications.

Making wise plans

If God gives us the freedom to make plans for our lives wisely, how do we do that? How do we choose between all the options we have before us?

How do we choose things like…

  • University or apprenticeship?
  • Marry that person or not?
  • Bible college or secular work?
  • Live at home or move out?

Well there are four steps you can take, which Michael Dicker outlines in this article:

  1. Work out which decisions are important – is it a question of righteousness or prudence?
  2. Reflect God’s purpose for your life – to be more like Jesus
  3. Ask ‘what does Jesus value’? – so your choices make you more like Jesus!
  4. If there’s more than one godly option, flip a coin! – the disciples do it to express trust in God when picking a new apostle after the betrayal of Judas

What are you good at?

Thinking about how God has gifted you if a great way to learn more about what God might like you to do with your life!

You might be a great singer, writer, mathematician, or football player – and all of these might play a part in how you serve God.

And remember – you don’t have to be a full-time minister to serve God with your gifts!

As Candice Colgan explains in this article, “Not every person is called to be a church planter or leader. The Bible is clear that God bestows a different gift on every person, and not every gift is made for church leadership. Jesus' disciples were chosen because they displayed different skills and different talents. Each disciple picked up their cross and followed Him, yet not all of them were called to lead a church.

While we are called to serve and support the body of Christ, it is not necessary to be a preacher or a missionary to make serving God your number one job. You can serve Jesus in a multitude of ways.

Scripture assures us that there are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. So whether you are great in music, or you have the ability to read and decipher contracts, be confident that there are different kinds of service but the same Lord receives them. Be confident that there are different kinds of working, but in all of them it is the same God at work.”

Questions to think about
  • Based on this article, can you identify what God’s will is for your life?
  • What misconceptions have you previously had about God’s will?
  • Take a moment to think through the suggested decision-making framework. Can you apply it to a decision you need to make about the future?
  • What are you good at? How has God gifted you? How might you use this to serve him?

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#76538 Raising Girls - Six ways to show love to your parents

Posted by Jonathon on 04 July 2018 - 06:39 PM

Six ways to show love to your parents


How to honour your parents and let them know you care about them.


Our parents. They love us and we also love them but sometimes our actions and words (or no words) says the opposite.


Here are six ways to show some love to your parents.


Obey them


You can show your mum and dad you love them by doing as they say and what is expected of you. By obeying them, you are obeying God and this pleases him. I will also add in here that whatever you are told to do, you should do it in cheerfulness without moaning even if it means missing out on the movie you planned to watch.




Talk to your parents about your feelings - your worries, fears and excitement. Do not stonewall them because parents offer words of wisdom. Just because they are not the same age as us does not mean they can't understand us. Do you love your parents enough to open up to them?


Tell the truth


Our Father in heaven hates lying. Even if our parents do not know the truth that you hide from your mum and dad, God knows so tell the truth about your friends, school, where you are going and everything else.  By doing this, trust will be built between you and your parents.


Be cheerful


Watch any family TV show and there's bound to be a moody teenager. Sad, I know. Why don't we change this stereotype and be happy. Laugh with your parents (their jokes are funny… sometimes).

Treat them with respect

Remember who your parents are – father and mother, and give them respect for all they’ve done for you and for their role in your life. This may seem silly but you can show your parents love by simply thanking them for being your mum and dad. They are not just everyone else, they are different. They are our loving, caring parents!


And finally…


Tell them you love them. It is comforting and loving to your parents to hear that you love them. Shout it out loud, text it, mime it. However you choose to do it, make sure they know you LOVE them!

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#59184 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by BigAl on 09 July 2017 - 05:13 PM

Part of raising a child IMO is to talk about bullying whether they are bullied or not, when the age and time is right. They may have seen it at school. I've talked with Sabrina about this because her brother (1 year younger) has Asperger's and was getting teased. She stuck up for him, which I admired. But we also talked about how she would handle it if she became bullied.


When I lived at my prior home there was a checker at Safeway in Atascadero that I used to shop at. She was skinny as a rail but a real sweetheart, always pleasant. Stopped seeing her in the store and after a few months there was an article in the paper that she had died from anorexia. It was really sad to read.


So Papa is right. I hope none of you girls fall victim to this condition.

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#66371 Raising Girls - Counseling Others When You Have Your Own "Me Too" Story

Posted by Jonathon on 30 October 2017 - 08:00 AM

How to walk alongside sexual assault victims when you’ve been a victim yourself

The scandal of Harvey Weinstein and the festering wounds left along his destructive path of sexual exploits made America face a fact: every day we interact with women who have suffered the horror of sexual assault. As #metoo flooded social media channels, multitudes of women felt the tide of suppressed emotion wash over their lives. In this world where every 98 seconds another person is sexually assaulted, we must grapple with the fact that many, many women have “me too” stories. And, we must recognize that many women leading in the church have experienced sexual harassment or assault themselves—maybe even within the church. The local church is one of my greatest loves, and I am not jaded, but we must be realistic. As much as I’d like to say the church is a safe place, untouched by the fallen desires of predatory humans—I’ve been in ministry too long to entertain such a foolish notion.

As female leaders, we must be ready to minister when we hear the cry for help, which means that many of us will counsel women who have been accosted, while still processing the emotions about our own “me too” moments. I am one of those women. As “me too” leaders venture into this redeeming work, here are some pitfalls we need God’s wisdom to avoid:

1. Confusing your story with hers.

When I talk about the assault and abuse I’ve experienced, I am standing on holy ground because this is the place Jesus met me. He had called out in mercy long before, but it wasn’t until I experienced assault that I finally turned to the only man who could save me—Jesus. But this isn’t how every woman deals with her experience, and we can’t project our own stories onto ...

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#65656 Raising Girls - When You Feel Like a Failure

Posted by Jonathon on 17 October 2017 - 10:06 AM

Whether you've truly failed―or you just feel like a failure―the experience can actually be a blessing.

“Well, Cara, I’m not really sure what to say, but you failed to do what we hired you to do.” The chairperson folded her hands on her lap, and looked at me blankly. I stared back at her, numb to the world around me.

Glancing at the paper in front of her, she went on to list all of the many ways she believed I had failed at in my first two years of ministry. My cheeks burned red and tears pooled in my eyes, soon cascading down my face. I looked at my boss―the same man who’d fed me accolades of praise week after week―who now sat mute in the corner. Why wasn’t he standing up for me? Why was there such a disconnect from the encouragement he showered upon me in our one-on-one meetings and the silence that swallowed him now?

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. An apology was all I could muster. She’d rendered me mute, as well.

The meeting crippled me for a long time. Two weeks later, I moved two states south to take on a promotion with the same outreach organization. I’d been offered the job months prior, but wanted to finish out my time in good standing, so I’d stayed an additional two months after the initial offer period. Still, her words haunted me. I didn’t trust my own leadership abilities, just as I didn’t trust that God in me could do a mighty work through me. I cried whenever I divulged the truth of that awful meeting. Finally, feeling like I would never fully thrive unless I worked through the pain, I turned to a therapist.

Wiping away tears, I told her my story. I felt like an utter failure. Surely, she could see it, too. But where one woman’s words had stripped me to the core, her words filled me up. They were like balm to my soul.

“You can’t ...

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#59527 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Papa on 15 July 2017 - 07:12 PM

Studies show that 71.3% of statistics are made up on the spot.

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#59181 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Papa on 09 July 2017 - 04:27 PM

Anorexia and Bulimia are major killers of teenage girls and young women.  Often it begins with a teen or pre-teen being a few pounds over her ideal weight and being teased about it.  Some girls then become obsessed with fat and start think they are fat when they are actually underweight. I had a man working for me whose wife, age 35, developed anorexia when he was sent overseas for a short unaccompanied tour. He was overweight, she was normal weight.  After she left she became obsessed with being "fat," even after she lost 20+ pounds and looked like a concentration camp survivor.  She still insisted that she was "too fat," and eventually collapsed and was unable to care for her children.  Her husband was recalled from overseas to care for the kids. 


Anorexia and bulimia are life-threatening conditions.

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#59178 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Annie on 09 July 2017 - 02:09 PM

I was a chubby pre-teen, and although I grew out of it, it sticks with me. Nobody should be teased. I don't know how we bring that perfect world into being.

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#59173 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Ian54 on 09 July 2017 - 12:52 PM

Bullying is NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR - Full Stop, end of story.............

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#59169 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Guest on 09 July 2017 - 10:32 AM

Never, ever should a teen girl be teased about her weight. This is a very sensitive issue. Girls are extremely conscientious about their bodies. If a girl raises the issueor health is a concern, then the parent can suggest that she get an evaluation by her doctor, and then, if needed, put on a diet and exercise program commensurate with her situation.


Body type, heredity, etc., can play a huge factor in determining weight. Some girls are just big boned, and many times, it's muscular. The best thing any parent can do is to praise the beauty of our girls, raise their self esteem and reassure them that there is so much more to their beauty than what is on the outside. Keep them healthy, and love them. NO TEASING!

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#101880 Raising Girls - Are you afraid of conflict?

Posted by pookie on 05 December 2019 - 06:23 PM

I am afraid of conflict because I don't like other people agressiveness . And I am totally unable of dealing with it properly. I become easily agressive and I don't recognize myself when in a conflict. I also know that I can become disrespectful and be in trouble because of that. But truly when it happens I feel like I am not in control of myself... Hard to deal with that.


There were plenty of times when I wasin a situation that put me in conflict with other people.  The two options that were obvious were to butt heads with the other person, or simply turn around and walk away.  I knew butting heads would get me in trouble, both at school and especially with my dad that evening, so I usually tried to walk away and tell myself it wasnt worth the bother, dont get involved, not my problem, etc.  But most of the time that just wasnt gonna happen.  Like if a bunch of students were picking on someone and they needed help, or somebody was getting blamed for something and I knew they didnt do it.  I would consider my options for, maybe 1/10 second, and walking away totally wasnt on the list.  If conflict was the only option remaining, then yeah there was gonna be conflict.  I could never walk away from an unfair situation and say Its not my problem.  I dont work like that, and I would be ashamed of anybody who did.  Did I get in trouble for it?  Yep.  Get detention?  Yep.  Get spanked after dinner?  Yep.  Did it change my response when that situation happened again?  Not a chance.

I dont say that conflict is always bad.  I learned a lot about myself from being in conflict, and being in situations where I had to make difficult choices immediately.  I dont think anyone should go out of their way to find conflict, you dont need to do that, it will find you!

The worst thing would be to go through a conflict scenario, and come out the other side without learning anything from it..

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#65771 Raising Girls - When You Feel Like a Failure

Posted by BigAl on 19 October 2017 - 06:45 AM

This is an example of how I really think my own general serenity is the result of dependence on faith rather than my fellow humans. Human beings are subject to all kinds of failures, including failing to elicit his/her personal expectations as a manager. I had a similar experience at a company in 1996/1997. After I left and went to the company I am now semi-retired with, I found out the whole thing had nothing to do with my own boss but the fact a prima donna in the group didn't like me at all. Here I thought I was a failure because I had been told I was not performing at a senior level. But in reality I was not a failure at all.


One major takeaway in the article for me was the following paragraph:


"In Matthew 13:54–59, Jesus returns to his hometown to teach people in their place of worship. His words were met with questions and accusations, while his ways were met with negative and offensive reactions. As a result, Jesus continued to preach, but was unable to perform miracles because of their lack of faith in him. Although Jesus had failed to be who they thought he should be, he hadn’t failed in the least, for he continued to be true to who he truly was."

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#65769 Raising Girls - When You Feel Like a Failure

Posted by Ian54 on 18 October 2017 - 11:31 PM

There is so much unsaid in that piece.......................


My mind sees, not a failure on the part of the lady concerned, but on her immediate boss who clearly did not have the wit or guts to defend her.  :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:


A failure of management where the expectations of one person were not communicated down the tree, so this poor lady was left hung out to dry.


And a failure of the woman in charge to realise what was happening in her organisation.


The poor lady herself was betrayed at all levels by this organisation and yet had done nothing but her best.


The only good thing I see is that she took some good advice and hopefully is now thriving in the correct environment.

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#62886 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Guest on 01 September 2017 - 03:37 AM

A persons weight or size should not distract from who they are,  those that taunt or bully have no self esteem.  My children are raised with the belief that it is what is inside the person that counts not looks.  Kindness and understanding is what we expect from our children and too be honest that is what they show to others.

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#62229 Raising Girls - Elite High Schools Breed Higher Risk of Addiction

Posted by Papa on 24 August 2017 - 09:45 PM

Students at "elite' high schools often have wealthy parents and get much more generous allowances than working or middle-class kids. They are also more likely to be insulated from consequences of misbehaviour.  That makes for an opportunity to go bad in a big way. If Daddy always bails you out or uses his influence to enable you to avoid punishment, the temptation is to push your luck until you get in very serious trouble.

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#60822 Raising Girls - Break Your Day into Thirds

Posted by Jonathon on 03 August 2017 - 07:52 AM

A creative way to avoid burnout in ministry

I was only a couple of years into ministry and already on the verge of burn out. As the director of a youth outreach organization, my job often involved early morning breakfast meetings with donors, followed by administrative duties throughout the morning and early afternoon. Most of my direct time with high school and middle school students started in the late afternoon, followed by a slew of evening events.

I worked around the clock, and no one—including myself—batted an eye. Ministry can, after all, be the job that seemingly never ends. However, it is also the job that combines head and heart—the job we can’t imagine not doing.

Then I had a conversation that changed me.

Lamenting the burdensome schedule of ministry to a friend who pastored a local church, he gave me the following advice—break your day into thirds. As Andrew had learned from a mentor, in order to run the marathon of ministry, you have to break your day into smaller segments. Otherwise, it’s too easy to work yourself into the ground, as I had already begun to do.

“Think of your day in terms of three parts—morning, afternoon, and evening,” he told me. “If you know you have a couple of morning meetings and a nighttime event, keep the afternoon sacred.” He encouraged me to think of each day’s segment in terms of four-hour periods of time. Although it wasn’t rocket science, this made sense to me because a normal workday is ideally made up of 8 hours—not 12—as had been the case with me.

His sage advice stayed with me throughout my time in ministry. On program nights, oftentimes I would still be “going” at ten o’clock at night, so I had to learn how to rest ...

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#59415 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Lisa M on 13 July 2017 - 09:03 PM

I think teasing teens about anything isn't a nice thing to do.  Even something little, if it's with bad intent.

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#59162 Raising Girls - Teasing Teens About Weight May Do Lasting Harm

Posted by Guest on 09 July 2017 - 05:31 AM

Girls at any age are aware of their weight and their body shape.  It would never be right to mention anything about this in front of a girl

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