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Tobias

Adult Male
  • Content Count

    490
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Tobias last won the day on May 23

Tobias had the most liked content!

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700 Good Reputation

5 Followers

About Tobias

  • Rank
    ** Excellent Participant **
  • Birthday 07/25/1972

Parents Only

  • Children
    Two
  • Do you spank?
    Yes, Sometimes

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Interests
    Reading, Music, Nature

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270 profile views
  1. There has been some really good answers all ready, but I wanted to emphasize that you are definitely not crazy. My first thought after reading your post was that you were brave for telling your dad what you did and brave for sharing it here and my second thought was that there is nothing "wrong" with you at all: Realizing that something uncomfortable you'd like to avoid, still has to happen, because it's is good (or even necessary) for you is not a sign of being mental, but of being mature. So while your reaction might seem "crazy" to other girls your age, thats not because there is something "wrong" with you, but because they are a different person and being spanked at that point might not be the right approach for them. Being different from most other people often seems to be seen as something inherent negative, but a.) is everyone different in some aspect and b.) does not it not really matter as long as is it working out for you. Something being "crazy" implies that there is some form of harm involved, but if the option of getting spanked (maybe he doesn't even have to use it afterall) helps you to get through the time before you go to Tibet and makes the transition to an inpedepent adult easier for you, there is no harm, but just benefits. Based on my experiences with both my daughters and a lot of students, I believe that most children and adolescents want rules, boundaries and even discipline. While this happens on an unconscious level most of the time and while going to the point of actively asking for it at your age is probably rare, that doesn't make it wrong. So I wouldn't worry to much about it, but be happy that your dad is doing it in a way, so that you are willing to submit to his discpline for longer and proud of yourself for not going the easy road, but the one you feel like is the right one for you.
  2. A nice idea for a thread and an interesting read . Congratulations and all the best for you and your future husband! When it comes to my plans, it's mostly about (finally) working as a teacher again. So far things didn't worked out as I hoped they would and I was affected by this during december. But I got a nice surprise during christmas when I got multiple presents connected to "going back to school" (most of them not really "serious") together with good wishes for my goal and words of reassurance that it will work out in the end. My two favourites were red fineliners (from the "correct" brand) in a pack of ten and and a "guide book" for "evil teachers". Well "equiqued" like this and with the support of family and friends I am positive that I will be back to school in one way or annother. Good luck to everyone here for their plans for 2020 .
  3. First of all from my point of view sharing your experience with us was not a "weird", but a brave thing to do and as long as your comfortably with it and it helps you there is absolutely nothing wrong with writing a long text about it. While I am sorry that you got spanked from my persecptive as an not involved observer, I would focus on the positive aspects: You have an idea about how your Dad spanks, so you do at least know what to expect and that you can trust him to do it a reasonable way. You acted so mature and accepted not only the fact that you deserved punishment, but also fully cooperated with him even when you were surprised by things becoming really embarrassing. Looking at this from his perspective he might have been nervous as well, if you would have resisted or questioned his authority to spank or to spank like this things might have become complicated. But instead you made it easy for both of you and that is way more than you can expect from teenager. To me it seems that the way things worked out helped to develope your relationship and the way both of you handled it might have a big impact on how you interact in the future. Making mistakes is human, everyone does that, but to own up for them and taking the consquences is something a lot of adults fail to do. I hope you are proud of yourself for the way you acted there. What you did wrong is forgiven, but what you did right will stay .
  4. I am a bit late, but congratulations to them for getting married and congratulations to you for getting Jim as a father in your life. Based on what you told us, it will be a positive change for all of you . I hope it was a great day and that your new adventure will be a very happy one.
  5. While I never was in a situation like that myself, I gained insight in more than one family that included stepparenting in one way or annother and when I thougt about how I would treat a stepchildren I quickly came to a conclusion: For me being a father is all or nothing decision and the same would be true for being a stepfather. If I am willing to marry a woman how has a child, that would also mean that I am willing to commit to being a father to said child. And that would mean treating it like my own child in all aspects. From what I can tell Abbie is correct and many stepparents try to be accepted by their stepchildren by focusing on the popular aspects and avoiding the "dirty work", but in my opinion that is not an valid option. Being a parent will always involve things that are unpleasant, but "cherry picking" only the pleasant ones would not only be unfair on the biological parent, but also making sure that you are not taking seriously by your stepchild, which might backfire at some point. I think somehow being a father and somehow not being a father, living together as a family, but without having the same parental authority would leave everyone and everything in a state of uncertainty which isn't good for anyone involved. If the child is a teenager things would probably be even more complicated, because it isn't an easy time even without getting a "new" parent. But I think at that point having clear structure and boundaries are especially important, so if there is annother parent in their lifes any fuzzyness about them being a real parent should be avoided. I would not be content with being a "mentor" or "friend" to a stepchild and and while the relationship with it would probably not be the same as with the biological parent, but it being different doesn't mean it has to be worse. Based on the little (indirect) experience I have, trying to rush or force things would be a big mistake, but I would still try to get to point even it would take quite some time. I think that is a good point. Becoming a stepparent would be hard enough, but trying to blend two families together with the children used to different parenting styles would be problematic and different rules for different children or only the biological parent deciding about rules and discipline for their children is not something I could see working either. (And when it comes to my personal obsession with "fairness" trying to be "fair" while handling your biological and your stepchildren would probably lead to a lot of problems ...) In a hypothetical situation were I would consider blending two families like that, I could only see it working if I and the woman had at least similiar ideas about parenting...
  6. It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life, at an age where dealing with the "normal" things would be hard enough .. but you are looking at the positive aspects as well and see to handling it well, so I am sure that things will work out for you. I agree with BigAl when it comes to "following your heart". Getting advice from your parents is a good thing and you should consider it, but when it comes to decisions about your education that will influence the way the rest of your life will play out it should be your decision in the end. While I have no clue how the the college/university system works in the USA, in my experience going in a certain direction in life as young adult because your parents want you to rarely, if ever, works out. I might be biased here because it took me way to long myself to get independent decisions, but the choice is between getting supported, but not being "allowed" a college you are interested in and having to pay for it yourself, but being able to get to one of your own choice I think the latter is the better one. Hopefully you won't have to make a choice like that though - I think a lot of parents are willing to listen to your ideas for your future when they realize that you are not make making a decision on a whim, but thought it through and got good reasons for you choice. If you spend more time together and talk about it a lot more you should be able to find a solution. Communication seems to be an important aspect for me, not only about discipline, but about how everything will work out for your family of four. I have never been in a situation like this, but if I imagine changing from an parent to another and your mothers boyfriend coming into play there are some things that should be talked about. And it's probably easier to this right at the start, than at the point where there may be already an issue of some kind. I enjoyed reading your post, hope to hear more from you and hope the changes in your life will end up being positive .
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