BigAl

I wouldn't over-think it. Sure, easy for me to say LOL. But if he was planning to stop spanking after graduation, you'd probably know about it after graduation anyway. Perhaps he wanted to know how you felt about it continuing after graduation... who knows. At some point it should stop, Anna. Probably the time you head off to mission training would be a great point to transition. We as humans will always make mistakes. But we are subordinate (those who chose to be) to God as adults and therefore leave the nest so to speak. Trust me, when you have to pay a $300 fine for a speeding ticket as a late teenager, you'll probably learn as good a lesson or better than if Dad paid for it and you got a walloping. Just using that as an example. Either way, at the end of the day, the action of being spanked or not over the next 3 or 6 months really rests with you. As it does with anyone who makes behavioral decisions.

Anna, you have no idea how happy I am for you! I truly believe God puts us where we're supposed to be and with whom we're to be with. Yeah, be mindful of the rules and the real reason why you're there. Good you will have a mentor. Can't imagine doing something like this without a guide to get initiated and up to speed.

Good topic, as Jack said. Off the top of my head I'd entertain the concept that being "ladylike" and receiving discipline or correction are two different animals altogether. Will I say that a girl being punished for certain things is designed to make her more ladylike? Probably not LOL. Well, maybe the "well-bred" part, IDK. You could be a tomboy and still be spanked. Is a tomboy "ladylike"? Maybe not. Is being ladylike mean you act like a prissy spoiled girl who is dainty and curtsies? Probably not. I'd suggest it's merely being a decent, polite, female human being. One who takes pride in her self and her surroundings. Maybe one who tries to follow Christ. If being spanked at home or paddled at school solves deviations in behavior that keep you from being the best you can be, then that is a separate track IMO. If you end-up being ladylike, that's a bonus. So I'd say getting paddled or spanked in your case is unrelated. Even though yes, it can appear to be un-ladylike to present a clothed or unclothed rear-end for a spanking to a man. Being unladylike would be presenting the same anatomy in a suggestive provocative manner. Two different things altogether. Anyway, that's my take. Ha ha... not sure if it makes any sense.

Wow, how cool! Love the colors. We'll imagine you there as the Queen in spirit!

A lot of good stuff said about taking a gap year vs. not. You've also got the missionary ideal you want to strive for. You also mentioned an impulsive behavior (decision making) attribute of your personality that Jimdad is helping you address. Some of his methods indeed would not be recommended for a school sociology class essay LOL. Too bad, because more kids could use those methods. Seriously, I recommend working on the impulsiveness before making summer plans. Going into a job, missionary, or what-have-you with unchecked impulsiveness might lead to bad decisions and sort of set yourself up to fail. Last thing any sweet and intelligent young woman your age needs are self-fulfilling prophesies. Which in most cases are negative. You have faith and a walk with Christ. Let prayer and meditation help you find the answers to the impulsiveness and ultimately your post-HS path. Don't be afraid to be introspective... looking within and being honest with yourself, as to what might be causing the impulsiveness. Do you have a problem making decisions? Is there some kind of fear involved? What I have learned over the years (often the hard way) is to think things through before acting. Impulsiveness for me is essentially random action with little forethought. Look at pros and cons. One thing to consider is that all actions both have consequences and are preceded by thought. Consequences of actions can be good or bad. So the key thing is to look at the thoughts/thinking that precedes the action. For example, you think about writing an essay or paper for a class on Wednesday evening, then enter into the action that results in completion of the paper. Consequence is good... you turn it in and get an A because you're smart and "chose" to persevere the project to completion. Another example is you engage in an action without prior thinking or evaluation and the consequence of that action can cause your Mom or Jimdad to become irritated. We know where that can lead. Yeah, I know, it's more complicated than that. But I try to create a model to follow and tweak (adjust) the model after going through it a few times. To me the thought > action > consequence model seems to work. I am a process-oriented thinker. Came from 40 years of technology and engineering LOL. Your biological father and Jimdad will be different. Not to make Dad #1 look bad, it could be that Jimdad's approach is better suited to you and your personality, Anna. His approach might not work for your best friend if he were her step-father, KWIM? But I am thrilled he's in your life and working for positive change.

You should do it. I would encourage it for a variety of reasons.

I think you are undergoing a transformation from "no dad" to a dad that cares and loves you, and who is setting down rules and expectations for you. Just remember to think first before making decisions around actions involving being late, going places, boy(s) LOL, and so forth. Run a quick... "Is this in line with Jimdad's rules?" before acting on impulse. For example, like you said, "So long talk ensued and an unhappy ending in my room but I was mad at myself. It's not that hard to let him know what I'm doing. I'm simply not used to that... Now I guess I better be ". Yeah, you are not used to that. But in short order you will become adjusted because I know deep down inside you want to do the right thing. I realize you are not all messed-up over this change, but nonetheless go easy on yourself. Things should smooth out very soon for you.

Not a Vietnam Vet, missed the draft. But I do thank you Whetstone for your service. Many Vietnam vets got the shaft and were grossly mistreated when they returned from duty, because as you know, the war was very unpopular.

Sounds like Dad did the right thing by talking with you and providing a level of reassurance to you. I also think this incident helped you both get "dialed-in" with respect to each other, albeit unintentionally. Dad had to decide if he was going to be just all talk and no action with respect to rules and consequences, or follow-through. You got the opportunity (unfortunately) to realize he does mean business and that he is also loving, caring, and fair. So in the end an unfortunate set of events all worked out. I'd be willing to bet that future instances, Anna, will be few, if any at all. But if they happen, they happen. We'll be here for you.

Nice topic Anna! I am thinking about getting a part-time job at a local True Value hardware store or maybe even Home Depot. Also planning to make a concerted effort to lose 80-100 lbs. Vacation-wise, I booked a trip and airline tickets to Cabo San Lucas for myself and the "gang" next July. That should be fun and looking forward to it already.

Awe... First off Anna, it took a lot of courage to write about this experience. Happy it helped you and nobody is going to judge or shame you. I think the key is to realize you made a mistake in judgment and choice. You were not the only girl to do so and won't be the last. You are not stupid or a "bad kid"... you just let your guard down and allowed emotion (feelings about Collin) to get the better of you. Now that you were in that situation, the mind starts "covering tracks" which leads to a cascade of tall tales. Because you are an honest and humble person it all caught up with you and then came the tears of guilt. Gosh, just learn from it. Remember that thoughts precede actions, and actions have consequences. Good actions have good consequences, bad actions can bring bad consequences. Jimdad was there to do his job and you expected he would at some point. Even realizing it meant you could be spanked. And that's what happened. Embarrassing? No doubt. I do hope he talks more about it with you tonight because honestly... giving your 17 y/o step-daughter a full-on bare booty spanking after being her step-dad for only 32 days is a HUGE event. Both as a consequence for a misdeed and emotionally due to the nature of it. I hope he follows-up this evening by checking up on you and making sure you are "okay" emotionally. He should also make it clear that you know what can happen. That will hep you plan for the future and maximize your effort to prevent a repeat. In the future I suggest going with your "gut feeling" about something. Especially like stuff around boys like Collin. Think before you fall into that "trance" and try to snap yourself out of it. In hindsight (which always 20-20 LOL), next time say "I'd love to come over Collin but my dad needs to meet you first". If it's to happen then Collin or whomever it is will make plans accordingly. Don't get down on yourself Anna. Nobody here will think anything less of you. I certainly don't!!! It's now past. I hope you learned from it and in an odd way it probably put your mind at ease now, knowing how Jimdad can respond and and deal with you when you mess-up. It's all learning and be thankful you have a set-dad who cares enough to do what he feels is needed.

I submit the proposition this was all part of His master plan. Great way for you two to bond, as you anticipated prior to your trip.

Wow Anna, so happy you had a great time! Yes indeed, trips like that will remain with you forever.

Yes, Kai. At some point there should be trust and not 24-hour surveillance. On the other hand, as President Reagan once said "Trust, but verify".