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Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Slate Blackcurrant Watermelon Strawberry Orange Banana Apple Emerald Chocolate Marble
Jonathon

Laugh at least once today

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Thanks to our members who posted these elsewhere. 

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LOVE the gullibility test!  :) 

 

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Seems fair to me!  

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Pun Alert......

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?  Swarm.

5. If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.

6. Just so everyone's clear,  I'm going to put my glasses on.

7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

12. My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover band.

13. I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now I'll never hear the end of it.

14. Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.

15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

16. When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.

17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.

19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk, and the result was staggering.

20. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

22. What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.

23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, "Aisle B, back."

24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

25. I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

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On ‎5‎/‎4‎/‎2021 at 8:01 PM, Joey said:

Pun Alert......

1. Dad, are we pyromaniacs? Yes, we arson.

2. What do you call a pig with laryngitis? Disgruntled.

3. Writing my name in cursive is my signature move.

4. Why do bees stay in their hives during winter?  Swarm.

5. If you're bad at haggling, you'll end up paying the price.

6. Just so everyone's clear,  I'm going to put my glasses on.

7. A commander walks into a bar and orders everyone around.

8. I lost my job as a stage designer. I left without making a scene.

9. Never buy flowers from a monk. Only you can prevent florist friars.

10. How much did the pirate pay to get his ears pierced? A buccaneer.

11. I once worked at a cheap pizza shop to get by. I kneaded the dough.

12. My friends and I have named our band 'Duvet'. It's a cover band.

13. I lost my girlfriend's audiobook, and now I'll never hear the end of it.

14. Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.

15. Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock? Well, time will tell.

16. When I told my contractor I didn't want carpeted steps, they gave me a blank stare.

17. Bono and The Edge walk into a Dublin bar and the bartender says, "Oh no, not U2 again."

18. Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it's a whole sentence.

19. Scientists got together to study the effects of alcohol on a person's walk, and the result was staggering.

20. I'm trying to organize a hide and seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.

21. I got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows, and nuts. I won't lie, it was a rocky road.

22. What do you say to comfort a friend who's struggling with grammar? There, their, they're.

23. I went to the toy store and asked the assistant where the Schwarzenegger dolls are and he replied, "Aisle B, back."

24. What did the surgeon say to the patient who insisted on closing up their own incision? Suture self.

25. I've started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It's all about raisin awareness.

I thought it was a virus!!!

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On 5/4/2021 at 8:01 PM, Joey said:

Pun Alert......

26. I used to work in a book shop.  A customer asked me where to find the self-help books but I wouldnt tell him cos that would, like, defeat the whole exercise...

 

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These were great! 

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Probably not the best Mother's Day gift suggestion.  

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Posted (edited)

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Edited by Lisa M
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2 hours ago, Joey said:

Probably not the best Mother's Day gift suggestion.  

Bad-Mother-s-Day-gift.jpg

When I first scrolled the page I saw that as an ice bucket with a bottle of wine in it. I was thinking what an earth is this fool talking about - what a fantastic Mother’s Day gift.

I didn’t get any wine.

I got a necklace, some flowers a massage voucher and dinner at a nice restaurant in town. 

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9 hours ago, AlexandraW said:

When I first scrolled the page I saw that as an ice bucket with a bottle of wine in it. I was thinking what an earth is this fool talking about - what a fantastic Mother’s Day gift.

I didn’t get any wine.

I got a necklace, some flowers a massage voucher and dinner at a nice restaurant in town. 

Sounds like you did just fine!  Did you not have a glass of wine at the restaurant?  ?

Yes, when I first saw the picture I thought it was an ice cream maker...which I also thought was a cool gift.  

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1 hour ago, Joey said:

Sounds like you did just fine!  Did you not have a glass of wine at the restaurant?  ?

Yes, when I first saw the picture I thought it was an ice cream maker...which I also thought was a cool gift.  

Well of course we had wine at the restaurant. There’s absolutely no point in having a 17 year old with a driver’s licence if mum and dad don’t indulge in wine at dinner is there?

I used to have an ice cream maker - we never actually used it much was a lot of hassle to do so. Now the thermomix on the other hand makes fantastic ice cream, really easily. 

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Parents and Kids

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On ‎5‎/‎10‎/‎2021 at 2:55 PM, AlexandraW said:

Well of course we had wine at the restaurant. There’s absolutely no point in having a 17 year old with a driver’s licence if mum and dad don’t indulge in wine at dinner is there?

I used to have an ice cream maker - we never actually used it much was a lot of hassle to do so. Now the thermomix on the other hand makes fantastic ice cream, really easily. 

I hope the wine was 17 years old!

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